that was suppose to be the last one
anyway i don´t think anyone is reading that so nevermind
it´s so ridiculous, or maybe rather sad
I still feel like your mi, your little lady
every friday when I come home, I miss you around
every night I get to bed it scares me I cannot feel your breath
touch you hands
misiu, it hurts so much
sometimes I don´t know if the pain is phisical or nside of my heart
it just feels like exploding in my chest

why cannot I understand that you wanted to get rid of me
why cannot I just send you to hell, forget and move on

I can´t amitku, just can´t
you marked me so deamn much
I don´t want anyone else to touch
I dont want anyone elses kiss

tremenda putada, mi, I don´t think that will take me anywhere
you, keep coming back, in the dreams, in the flashes at any time of the day

at the end being alone its cool
I have time for all my bullshits
I got addicted to the computer
I spend hours with photoshop, or drawing
i go to the beach
oor i just get lost with my camera

but i miss the barcelona evenings with your around
i miss the sound of your piano
i miss the shining in your eyes while making something beautiful
i miss the goodmorning kiss

and still..I have this emptyness inside
or like a wound in the place I was joined with you , bleeding, so I cannot forget

so please, dont you tell me what love means
and dont you tell me about not loving you
beacuse it just sounds....crazy
crazy, i am crazy I think

the candles and red roses, chocolates and champane

final

All we really need to survive is one person who truly loves us. You have her...I will always wait for you. I love you

...

I don´t know who you are now
I am not even sure I have ever known...
maybe it was just only what I wanted to see
do you know that felling...-that you find someone who is like you
like a matching piece,...like a fifth element in your reality???
I don¨t think so... cause if you knew, you would never think I was unfaithfull
you would know that that is impossible

sometimes I wonder what am I suppose to do
just forget, try to erase and reset...
keep the hope one day you will realize the truth...
continue this miserable missing you every night...

It does not make sense at all
Funny though, you know mi, you made me stronger
strong as hell
beacuse now theres nothing that hurts more that can happen to me
you only die once, baby....and zombies...don´t feel the pain any more.

so maye I should just shut up and be grateful

theres only one question
why I keep remminding the moments with you all the time
simple moments, your words, your look, our stuff, our things
our jokes,our laugh

our

funny thing....and it was you who told me that theres nothing that can change wat we have...
next time, for another girl....think twice, before you say somethin like that
beacuse she may trust you too...

flashback

the small hotel in Lisboa, and the Oriente Estacion when with the Calatrava construction...and a small restaurant at the sea side...obrigado....when we were eating you were asking me if I would go with you to Barcelona

on the plane I was reading the spanish revista and you smiled saying i have a good accent...

the fotos in Cintra, made with a mobile, I guess I never was so bloody smiling before...

your flat in Reading...and the little lights in the kitchen I liked so much...

tortilla which you were making for me just the night before leaving to Bcn, just beacuse I wanted to...

the tired we were just after we were having sex for the first time

the cold night and you in a black shirt saying that you love me

the first kiss

the look when we were sharing the Ben and Jerry icecreams in Alicias kitchen at Williams street

the first text messaage from you : you said you would like to play piano for me

the pink chicken

cartoon fingers

the smell of you in the bed when u already left

anthony hamilton´s southern comfort which was remembering of your every smile

the flower you draw on a piece of paper and put to my bag before i left...

sunshine song...

the phone calls every night which were everything that mattered during the whole day

more phone calls

your naughty words which were making me crazy

our own online sex. the first and the last

our cow

24hours which i send to my little boy for birthday

candles and roses in white Barcelona flat

croquetas and ensaladilla russa from the little place Consell de Cent

the terraza and little bathroom

your colonia

your black shirt

your mouth

a kiss

the big Bcn flat

the morning kiss for you every day

the cow message

the little misiu sleeping with me

me being pesada and wanting to hug you every night

sex

missing you during your tenerife trips

shivers every time you were back

your first video

shake your ass




i remember so many details
i can go on for pages and pages and pages

but it hurts
so much

i want to forget you please...
i cant go on like that no more
i am going crazy

mi, what should i do
what should i do if i miss you so much, still even when it does not make sens

mimi