sunshine...when you with me I can fly

funny
I guess the beach is the only place where I dont miss you. Everything disappears there. U don´t exist.

...

sometimes your words are coming back to me like echo
today is one of these days
they still have the same effect
so whatever you did, you did it right, like u used to everything
you see, hurting someone it¨s not the one off action
it is like a wound that keeps opening
and if you hit from the back
you don´t even leave a chance for confrontation
funny though
I am so naive I should be laughing at myself

love.

Sometimes, a single moment makes you understand what the life really is for.
What´s worthwhile, and what´s just a waist of time.
And that is where it all begins.
To find you just have to stop looking for.

Deamn girl....

I found it yesterday

little note with a rose
It has written on:
"I prefer say it in spanish: te quiero"
Do you still remember?

el sexo

nunca entendiste q realmente significaba
para mi fue lo todo
algo mas bonito y mas profundo
algo mas cerca
como si se juntaran nuestras almas

nada importaba y tan solo existia yo y tu
la mirada
cuando te tenia asi, conmigo

y antes no sabia q se puede amar todo el milimetro de tu piel, de tu cuerpo
q se puede amar tu olor
tu todo. eternamente y sin condiciones

still

and i am moving on
all over again
like before, i can do it although it is hard
and feeling all alone doesn´t bother me that much now
It´s kinda cool, you know...
in the night I fall asleep fast
not to let the misery get me
sometimes a glas of wine help
sometimes drawing to the early morning does
sometimes I give up and cry

beacuse I miss it all
beacuse I cannot believe you
beacuse I m so impotent

I wonder if u ever felt that way
like a unfairly judged prisoner

how can I explain myself...
you will not understand
I guess you never really did

It´s ok
At least I have lived a beautiful illusion
for that I shall thank u forever

sips

sips
i am so sick of love songs
so tired with tears
so done with wishing u were still here

it´s so difficult sometimes
I have these nights when I just cannot sleep
I am trying everything but it doesn´t help
I am spinning around in circles between a dream and awakeness
thrying to push away the memories which are atacking me over and over again
your touch, your smile, your voice
the way you were moving your hand on my body just before falling asleep
a kiss

the way i was touching you, maybe too unpaciently
I learned your body too well
now it seems my hands will never match to any other
just yours

anyway I don´t even want to think about that

and time does not help at all
it does not change anything

I am building my own little world where the walls are much thicker than before
noone can get it. You need a special ticket and a sufficient doze of innocency
I have my fantasy beautiful world in there, with my fotos, my pictures, my colours, my feelings , my sadness and my euphorias. The way I want it to be. With no limits. It´s hermetic and waterproof. It cannot be distroyed. That´s the best thing about it.
theres 4 little cats upstairs, so little, smaller that the palm of my hand.
they got in, leaving their little paw print thingis and a soft miau
so beutiful and so so so fragile
they walk like drunk, climbing my feet and looking in my eyes, yes, incredible, straight into my eyes
i can spend hours just looking at them

estoy cerrandome de los demas
no me siento capaz de enfrentar lo todo
el mundo asi
prefiero estar conmigo
me dejaste incapaz de confiar a la gente
porque si te tenia a ti tan cerca
y resulto solo una fatamorgana
q puedo esperar de la vida.
lo intento
ser amable, ser sociable, ser bla, bla, bla...
pero despues....me da igual
no me importa

ya no miro atras
porque si lo haga
no veo nada
es como una foto con demasiada exposicion
casi blanca
pero algo me hace recordar tus palabras
q tenian una poder enorme
y tus ojos
donde veia la verdad, antes....
ya no quiero ver tu mirada
ya no soy capaz reirme contigo hasta infinito
ya no soy tuya
nunca

perspectiva

es curioso como cambia desde el aire q te falta para sobrevivir hasta el timido aliento de noche caliente de marzo provocado por una pieca de las memorias. nuestras memorias.
porque guardo todos estos recuerdos?. Resulta q nuca eran verdad.
Todo es una illusion.
y yo me voy a crear una. no necesito todo eso en mi vida. Sin nadie. Solo mia

why?
For your´s sake or for mine?
If you wanted to get rid of me why like that.
You knew that theres no way I stop being just yours, so you just removed me .
Like a dog who you want to get rid of when you going for holidays.
why you did that.
If you stoped loving me why u did not tell me.
It would hurt 10000less than that.

I dont understand.

so heres the surprise.
it did not work.
I keep missing you
I keep dreaming about you
in my dreams u r still my amitku

I just cant believe u made it all up just 2 get rid of me

today in the dictionary I found the cow u drew with the new markers u bought 4 me

gosh, it cant be real i was so wrong about you

lost

you will find me in the next life i not in this one

ERES mi hombre y siempre lo seras
eres brillante, gracioso, sorprendente, sexy
pero contigo estaba solo
me enseñaste que es amor de verdad y despues me lo quitaste

solo se puede ser una vez tan cerca con alguien
solo se puede amar a alguien asi una vez

nunca nadie va a hacerme olvidar de ti
siempre me tendras y yo siempre te tendre a ti
eres mi amitek

no importa lo q hagas
donde estas
q haces

te quiero