it´s so difficult sometimes
I have these nights when I just cannot sleep
I am trying everything but it doesn´t help
I am spinning around in circles between a dream and awakeness
thrying to push away the memories which are atacking me over and over again
your touch, your smile, your voice
the way you were moving your hand on my body just before falling asleep
a kiss

the way i was touching you, maybe too unpaciently
I learned your body too well
now it seems my hands will never match to any other
just yours

anyway I don´t even want to think about that

and time does not help at all
it does not change anything

I am building my own little world where the walls are much thicker than before
noone can get it. You need a special ticket and a sufficient doze of innocency
I have my fantasy beautiful world in there, with my fotos, my pictures, my colours, my feelings , my sadness and my euphorias. The way I want it to be. With no limits. It´s hermetic and waterproof. It cannot be distroyed. That´s the best thing about it.
theres 4 little cats upstairs, so little, smaller that the palm of my hand.
they got in, leaving their little paw print thingis and a soft miau
so beutiful and so so so fragile
they walk like drunk, climbing my feet and looking in my eyes, yes, incredible, straight into my eyes
i can spend hours just looking at them